How to Survive the Snake Revised Essay #5

In Alabama, and in many other areas of the United States, the presence of a snake causes fear in the minds of those who come in contact with him. A look back into our history reveals that the snake was the evil creature that beguiled Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden. As we read in Genesis, the snake was sentenced to crawl on his belly because of the evil way he influenced Adam and Eve. Whether it be a real snake crawling on the ground that you can see, or a demon that you hear about in church that you can not see, Bible Belt Alabamians fear this evil serpent. This paper will deal only with the snakes you can see.

Snakes show up everywhere in Alabama. They can be lurking in your shrubbery, in your barn, on your walking path, around your pond, in your canoe, in trees, and even in your house! I remember a story about a shopper in a fabric store. She was plundering through a deep box of fabric (sold by the pound) and was bitten by a rattlesnake hiding in the bottom of the box. To make matters worse, it is a common belief that when you see one snake you know others are close by. It is the accepted way of life in Alabama to kill any poisonous snake you see. You can shoot him, mow over him, run over him with your car, cut his head off with a hoe, or throw rocks at him. ( These methods of death are the most common in Alabama). The tactics you use depend on the time and place you see the snake. I recommend all of them.

On a hot summer’s day, two of my friends and I headed out to beautiful Lake Martin for some fun and sun. The day haunts me still. Little did I know that a serpent would be waiting to join our picnic. As we eagerly unpacked our car, the crystal blue water beckoned us to jump in. Lunchtime came, and we decided to lounge on the shoreline with our feet in the water, while we enjoyed a variety of sandwiches, chips, ice tea and coke. As I eagerly ate my meal, I felt a vibrating sensation under my “booty”. Little did I know that “johnny no-shoulder” was waiting to crawl from under the rock I was comfortably resting on. As quickly as the blink of an eye, a large cottonmouth moccasin slithered by my leg that was dangling in the water. It felt like a hosepipe touching my leg. My eyes caught sight of this venomous monster, and I screamed loud enough to awaken my dead ancestors that fought in the Civil War. Mr. Cottonmouth turned and looked me square in the eye. It was as if he wanted me to know that I had escaped a deadly bite only because he chose to allow me to live another day. As this monster gave me one last look, I can still imagine the frenzy that my friends and I would have been in when trying to save my life from a monster already carrying out the sentence of God’s wrath. Why did I survive? A divine intervention from a higher being could have delivered me from the sting of the viper’s fangs, or maybe it was just luck.

That was the day I realized that I must know how to survive the bite of a poisonous serpent if I were an unfortunate victim. As I studied the ways to react, I came to the following conclusions on how to survive the bite of a snake. First, always respect the creature that God has cast a spell on. If you are respectful and still get bitten by the viper, you should remain calm and get yourself to the nearest medical treatment facility. Remaining calm is easy to say, but hard to do. As your heartbeat races, the poison of the viper will travel throughout your body at a very fast pace. The calmer you are the better your chances of survival. Haste in getting to the Doctor is most important. Don’t wait, go immediately. The trip will be much easier if you have someone to drive you there. To prevent a snake bite death, do not go camping, hiking, hunting, fishing, or any other outdoor activity during the warm months when the snake is still active, unless you have a partner that can give adequate care to you in case of an emergency. The snake is a cold-blooded creature that will hibernate when the temperature drops below the point where he can survive. This will allow you to participate in outdoor activities in the winter months in Alabama and not be afraid of encounters with Mr. Snake. When you arrive at the medical center after being bitten by a snake you will need to be able to identify the type of snake that bit you. It is of utmost importance that everyone becomes familiar with the snakes of the area. There are several snakes found in Alabama that posses hemo-toxic poison. This poison will attack your blood cells and could result in death if not treated. Snakes that posses hemo-toxic poison in Alabama are rattlesnakes, copperheads, and water moccasins ( a form of cottonmouth). One should also be able to identify the coral snake. The coral snake venom will break down and paralyze your nervous system. A rule of thumb to remember in identifying this small, but deadly snake is “red touching yellow will kill a fellow”. This refers to the markings on a coral snake.

Look up the snakes just mentioned and study their coloring and markings. You will need to be able to inform the Doctor of the type of snake that bit you. Guess work can lead to death. When you arrive at the hospital or medical center, you can be given anti-venom that will kill the poison of the snake bite . This anti- venom has been grown within the blood of horses, and it can bring on allergic reactions, but hopefully not.

Where the snake bites you also makes a difference. If an artery is pierced by the snake’s fangs death is a strong possibility even if you get medical treatment. Other things not to do include: never cut your body in an effort to drain the poison, never place restricting bands or tourniquets above the wound, never drink alcohol, never put ice on the bite, and again, never panic.
In order to survive the bite of a snake you should follow the steps presented in this paper. Be prepared, and you can survive----to fear the reckless and ruthless guile of the serpent as he waits to destroy your world.

How to Dress Up as a Common Farmer

Essay 5 Revised


Throughout history, Alabama has been the home to many farms. The state’s products rely on crops and food grown by these farms. From cotton fields to corn fields, farming is a known characteristic and trait of the state of Alabama. It is our state’s contribution to the nation’s crops. Farms are built on vast areas of land where homes are separated by miles. The city is a complete opposite environment with its high skyscrapers, business men, and crowded homes. The countryside is very open, not crowded, and contains no signs of skyscrapers. Farmers live in the countryside, so their experience with the city is very limited. They have little connection to trends in fashion, technology, or high amounts of civilization. A farmer’s attire is very different from that of a person living in the city. If someone were to dress up as a farmer, maybe for Halloween, they would need to learn the basic outfit pieces that would make a perfect common farmer. One should not expect it to be a high fashion style or expect it to be something worn for everyday use, because farmers like to keep it simple and dress to work in the fields. The following essay addresses a few pieces of clothing and items that are important in achieving the perfect look for a common farmer of the south.

One key piece of clothing would be a plain, denim set of overalls. The overalls should be equipped with two back pockets, two front pockets located on either side of the hip, and one larger pocket on the chest. These pockets are important to the farmers when dealing with supplies needed to deposit crops and other various plants into the earth. Farmers use the multiple pockets to store tools, seeds, and gloves for when they deal with dirt. All these items are necessary in planting the perfect crop. If one wants to include accessory pieces in their outfit, then they could carry a packet of seeds, a small shovel, and gardening gloves in each of the pockets. Overalls are denim, because denim is a fabric that is very durable. It is easily washed, yet it can withstand a beating from the dirt and heavy movement farmers perform.

A second key piece of clothing would be a red, plaid, long-sleeved, flannel shirt. The flannel shirt should be a button down in the front for easy removal. Farmers like the buttons, so they are able to remove their shirt just in case it gets too hot outside. A flannel shirt is thick, but it is necessary for the shirt to contain warmth for the initiation of planting. Planting usually begins in mid-February, early March. During this time of the year the weather is mild and slightly on the cold side, so farmers need a little extra warmth. Long-sleeves also add to the warmth, but in addition to that the sleeves they protect the farmer from the UV rays. It protects the skin from receiving sun burn. The red plaid characteristic of the shirt adds to the countryside theme, since most farmers live in the open areas of the country. It is not a very fashionable pattern, but this demonstrates the farmer’s lack of knowledge of the fashion world. The flannel shirt and overalls are the two key elements in achieving the perfect imitation of a farmer, so do not avoid these articles of clothing.

A third key piece of clothing would be footwear. Farmers wear the typical brown cowboy boots (no fancy designer boots are necessary to spice up the outfit, because common farmers like to keep it simple). The cowboy boots, though, are the perfect boot in protecting their feet. The boots protect their feet not only from getting dirty, but also from the dangers of the machinery. Tractors are the main machines used by farmers, and when using them the farmers have to be conscience of where their feet are to avoid injury. These cowboy boots are made of leather, so the durability and thickness of the boot help the farmers out in keeping their feet safe.

The accessory to make the perfect common farmer outfit would be a hat. Not just any old hat can be worn, though. It has to be a straw, large brimmed hat. Hats are worn by the farmers to shade their eyes and face. Hats allow the farmers to keep their hands free and provide the most protection from the sun. A hat is highly recommended for a male who is dressing up as a farmer, but if the dresser is a female there is a second option. Instead of wearing a hat, the female can braid her hair in two pigtails, and wear a bandana. The pigtails keep the hair out of her face, and her head protected from the sun.

Now that all the clothing has been addressed, next is getting into character. Farmers after a hard day’s work do not smell very nice, and to achieve this perfect body odor, one needs to rub onions in their underarms and carry and good handful of manure in their back pocket. Adding the body odor effect guarantees the failure in winning any dates, but it does guarantee winning the costume contest. If one wants to go for the hill-billy farmer look, one needs to paint nontoxic, black paint to one of their front teeth. This creates the illusion of a missing tooth; maybe a tooth lost during working out in the field.

Including all these articles of clothing and extra character building items achieves the common farmer outfit. There are more items that could be worn to make the outfit more advanced, so if one is interested in progressing to the next level of farming attire, there are some things to look into. For instance, one could carry a sack full of picked cotton to achieve the look of the past farming days, or one could carry around stuffed animals like a cow, chicken, or horse to achieve the storybook look of a farmer. If one is just looking to dress up as a common farmer then the overalls, flannel shirt, cowboy boots, straw hat, and manure achieve this look.

Paper Five- Rush Revised

When entering into any college or university, one question asked of students is how he or she is going to get involved. One of the most popular organizations attached to multiple colleges and universities is Greek life. Each fall, the week before school starts, the University of Alabama has a weeklong event of something called Rush. Rush is the process of how a girl enters into a sorority. There are a few main steps in order to survive rush and it begins the spring before your rush week.

In the spring semester each sorority hosts rush parties. These parties consist of day and night get-togethers that current sorority members hold for girls who will be rushing in the fall, also known as future pledges. During the day the girls attend cookouts and luncheons; while the night parties consist of guys and girls getting together to branch out and meet new people. Through these parties future pledges are able to meet girls also attending Alabama in the fall. They are also able to get to know the girls currently in the sorority. By getting to know the girls in the sorority, the future pledges are able to develop an idea of what the sorority life is like, and if they would be able to fit in with the girls.

After attending the rush parties in the spring, a girl is then able to have an idea of whether she really wants to rush or not. If the girl decides yes, then there are a few steps she must take in order to prepare herself for rush week. First, the girl must go to the Panhellenic website and sign up for recruitment. Panhellenic is the organization in charge of all of the sororities and fraternities. By signing up on this website, the girl is letting all of the sororities that she will be participating in the upcoming rush. Once she has signed up on this website she must create a resume for herself. The resume consists of everything she has completed in high school. This would be made up of extracurricular activities, awards, community service, jobs, internships, test scores, GPA, and a picture of herself. The importance of the resume is to give the sororities an opportunity to get to know her. The resume is also given to many women who are alumnus of sororities. With this resume, alumni write a letter or a recommendation to their sorority as to why that sorority should consider this girl. A letter is written to the sororities that the girl is mostly interested in by an alumna who will speak about the great qualities of the girl and why she would be an important asset to the pledge class. A recommendation is usually a sheet of paper that consists of the important basic information of the girl. It is important that a girl has both the recommendation and resume, because it shows the sorority that she is extremely interested in becoming a member. It also gives the sorority a good idea of how important she is to have in the sorority by the number of people who care for her to be added to the sorority. Once the alumni have written the letters of recommendations, they are then sent to each of the sororities the girl is interested in.

A week before school starts the girl moves to school to start rush that week. There are four chances of narrowing down sorority choices. First every girl is divided into groups alphabetically. Monday and Tuesday of this week are based on each girl going to every sorority house with her group where she will wear sundresses. At each of these houses the sorority opens with a door song. This is a song that promotes their sorority that girls sing at the door while all the pledges are lined up outside of the house. After the song is over each pledge enters into the room and is escorted by a center member to an area of the house where they create small talk. This is when it is good to think of conversation starters. Each girl is at each of the houses for fifteen minutes. Sometimes the girl is with the same member the whole time but usually more members come up to speak to her. On Wednesday morning the girl goes to the computer lab with her group. She logs onto the computer that will show her which sororities would like her to come back to the house and spend more time with her. The girl can choose up to twelve houses to return to on Wednesday and Thursday. If a girl is not asked back by any houses she will be notified and rush will be over for her. If a girl is nervous about a house dropping her it is important that an alumnae calls the house to speak about how important it is to have that girl in the pledge class. This way the girl will have a better chance of getting into that sorority. When the girl returns to those houses on Wednesday and Thursday she must wear a t-shirt, that is provided by Panhellenic, and shorts. This is because at the houses during these two days the girl will learn about each of the houses philanthropy through creating an arts-n-craft that has to due with their philanthropy. On Thursday, the girl returns to the computer lab where she will once again see who has invited her back and narrow her list down to at most seven. During this day the girl goes to the houses that she has left to watch a skit. Each house performs a skit so the girl can see what the girls personalities are like inside the house. This is one of the most important days for a girl to attend because it is suppose to help the girl see if she would be able to fit in the house. On Saturday, the student heads back to the computer lab where she will narrow her list down to three. Today is “Preference Day”. This means that the girl attends the houses that she likes the most. At each house someone goes and speaks to the girl one on one. Some houses like to speak about their experiences about being a member of a sorority while others like to just speak to the girls normally trying to allow them to feel comfortable with them. At the end of the day every girl lines up and returns to the computer lab where she will put her “Pref Day” houses in order of the one she wants to join first. Sometimes a girl knows what sorority she wants to be in but most times a girl must weigh out the pros and cons of sororities to help her choice her pref. After this point the girl is to return to the dorm where she will wait until Sunday afternoon to receive her bid.

On Sunday afternoon, every girl goes into the stadium and sits in their groups. The group leaders pass out an envelope to each girl that has their name on it. When a leader says go every girl in the stadium opens their letter that has a bid on it from a sorority. At Alabama eighty-nine percent of girls get their first choice of sorority, but if not a girl must still act excited because most time a girl ends up loving her sorority. After opening their letters, every girl then runs out of the stadium area where members of each sorority will be holding the sorority letters. Then the girls will sprint with each other to the house. At the house, jerseys with the sororities’ letters will be given out and pictures with the sorority will be taken. From this point, the girl meets new friends she will keep for the rest of her life.

Paper 5 revised

When the temperature first drops below 70 degrees, we claim gumbo weather. It is a Cajun mark of the start of winter even if we know the next week will be in the upper 80’s. Making gumbo is all part of the change in weather and is much more than making any other food, it’s an experience; you can not just follow a recipe. Every family makes it differently both in ingredients and in the way they use each ingredient. It is necessary to set aside an entire day if you are to actually lead this cooking adventure.

In actually cooking the gumbo it is necessary to decide which type of gumbo you will make: duck, chicken and sausage, or seafood, to name a few. Next you have to decide to begin with a roux or make your own. For the sake of this paper and because it is my own favorite we will make chicken and sausage, as well as our own roux. The ingredients used in the roux are simple oil or butter, and flour. Both should be added in equal parts for example: one cup of oil or butter means you add one cup of flour. It is best to use white flour as it gives you the desired copper penny color. You want to heat the two ingredients stirring constantly until your desired color is reached; at least the color of the copper penny but you can go darker as well. It is best to work on this step as a family or around company because you cannot rush the roux and its preparation may take hours. Some people may argue that a roux will come out just as well if you pop it into the microwave for about seven minutes but by doing this you do not only loose flavor but a feeling of tradition as well. It should be a fairly thick, nearly toothpaste-like texture when it has finished cooking down. A darker roux seems to be more popular in the Cajun areas, usually a chocolate milk color. And a lighter Peanut butter colored roux is more popular in the New Orleans area. Really the only differences are the color and thickness; it is truly a personal choice.

Gumbo brings people together before they eat it; it is not a dish to make in a little amount of time by one person. Gumbo requires an almost team effort sharing the cutting and stirring since after only making the roux we have already been working for over an hour. This could get very lonely.

Now to begin with the actual gumbo you will want to remove the roux and add water until the roux reaches the desired thickness. The ingredients to the actual gumbo are far more complicated. A typical chicken and sausage gumbo may include the following:
• large onions, chopped
• bell peppers, chopped
• ribs of celery, chopped
• cloves garlic, minced
• quarts chicken stock
• bay leaves
• teaspoons Creole seasoning, or to taste
• teaspoon dried thyme leaves
• Earls seasoning to taste
• large chicken (young hen preferred), cut into pieces
• Pound of andouille or smoked sausage, cut into pieces
• bunch scallions (green onions), tops only, chopped
• cup fresh chopped parsley
• Filé powder to taste
The amount of each ingredient has not been included because it is the least important part of this recipe. It’s always been something just done by feel. Exact measurements will not help you in making a good gumbo.
Before adding any ingredients you must season the chicken; it is always more satisfying to use the whole chicken and is my family’s own tradition. Seasoning is another place where family comes into play; some may use salt and pepper, or “Tony Chachere’s”; my family uses “Earl’s” a seasoning only available at a small family owned meat shop in Lafayette. While this is marinating everyone should pick an ingredient and begin to chop. Everything needs to be diced by hand down to nearly unrecognizable pieces; you do not want to have a strange mix in textures. The sausage also needs to be cut into pieces usually between1/2 inch and 2/3 inch thick. In a very large pot, should be at least a foot tall; the kind that seems like a small child could be cooked inside. Mix the ingredients slowly allowing each flavor to be released into the stew. The entire time ingredients are being added you must keep stirring as to not allow a skin to form on the top. The chicken and sausage should be added last and then brought to a boil. Allow for it to cook at least an hour then remove the fat layer that has formed from the top of the gumbo. A good sign to tell if the chicken is cooked enough is it should be almost in strings and have fallen of the bone. Now it is time to go fishing, use a ladle with holes in the bottom to begin fishing out the bones, the last thing you want is someone getting a bone lodged in their throat. It may be necessary to have more than one person check for bones. Everything should now be in the gumbo. Now just wait for it to cook down; the longer you can resist the more flavorful it will be.

Eating gumbo is a completely different experience and everyone does it different ways but if you are sure to serve it over good Cajun rice and with plenty of French bread no one is bound to complain. The conversation of gumbo always seems to be more relaxed than any other meal, perhaps it is that there is often a little bit being spilt on the table or on laps perhaps even running down someone’s face. Whatever it is when the weather gets “cold” it is sure to be a good way to get family together to make it and friends together to eat it. The only way serving size can be restricted is by the size of the pot.

Animal Crackers revised

I do not understand why animal crackers are still around. These sweet crackers need to be taken off the market and never thought of again. No one in the world likes animal crackers. So why are they still around? Here is my story on why I strongly dislike them. When I hear the world animal crackers I cringe. I do not think I could describe to you how much I despise this certain crackers. I bet your wondering why did I decided to pick a food that I hate, but I think my relationship with animal crackers really does tell a lot about who I am and my strong feelings against them. It all started back in 2nd grade when everyone was eating animal crackers during snack time. My mom never bought them for me so I never ate them until snack time came. Snack time was like a fashion show; we all stood around and opened our snack bags together to see what everyone else had and to compare what we had with the newest coolest snacks. Of course I never had the coolest snack so I would try others. When I had my first animal cracker I did not particularly like it, but I thought I could learn to get to like them. That didn’t take long to change because after school one day I had a whole bag, and pretty much I got really sick, very sick and from then on I have hated them with a passion. This incident has affected me in a way that if someone near me is eating an animal cracker, I have to walk away for the fear I might vomit. If you have never had an animal cracker let me describe it to you the way I see it. It is a simple cracker in the shape of different animals ie elephant, lion, horse and it comes in a circus bag. The thing I find very unappealing about this infamous snack is that it is a sweet cracker. I think that crackers should not be sweet, but plain and not filling. They are made out of tons of sugar and graham flower. That is what makes them sweet. You would think that it should be made into a cookie but even a cookie is not that sweet.
I do not want you to think that I hate food but in fact I love food. Food is a very important thing for me. The process of selecting the meal when you are going out to eat is a very vital task and should not be taken lightly. I would be very disappointed if I went to a restaurant and I did not like the food I ordered. You are paying to eat and if you do not like what you get it can be upsetting. If you think about it food is a very big part of our culture, we even have a TV program decided to food and all the different ways you can prepare and the unique foods that are out there. It is pretty incredible how strong food is in our society.
The reason I chose to do this assignment in a negative way is because it shows a lot about me and my creativity. It’s not that I am a pessimistic person I am just very true and I know what I want. I will tell you how it is and I really appreciate people that carry that same character trait. I knew the first time I ate that animal cracker I didn’t like it but I just sucked it up and ate it anyway. Then I continued to eat them and that’s when I got sick. A first impression is extremely important to me as well and I think that tells a lot about a person if they give off a good first impression. The animal cracker I ate did not give me a good first impression. I don’t think that animal crackers explain who I am but it is my experience with these crackers that tells a story and explains a little about me. It is funny how just a taste of something can bring back very vivid memories of the incidents you have had with it. That is my dilemma with these animal crackers, everyone who knows me knows not the come near me if they are eating animal crackers . They actually have been around since 1902 and they have become a multimillion dollar industry. It was first marked as a seasonal item and now it is on every supermarket shelf. The question I ask myself is what about this cracker do I hate and how come I am one of the only ones who hate them. I want people to realize how horrible this snack is so they can discontinue them so no one else will go through that pain. My experience with animal crackers was bad but I did learn something about myself from that.

Formal Revision by Aaron Hupp

My dad was constantly moving from one place to the other because he was in the United States Air Force. That would have been fine, but with two little kids it became a heavy burden for the family to bear. At this point, we were currently stationed in Coral Springs, Florida but only for six months. Due to the short amount of time we would be spending there, my toys were locked away in storage. Little children require constant attention, especially when they have no toys, and that can drive parents to the point of breaking down. With no toys anywhere to be found, I began to search desperately for a playmate, my little sister, who was four, did not meet my much older and exceedingly more mature playing style. Furthermore, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, rather than Barbie and Ken, allowed me to rough house and to run around with my spherical cardboard weapon. Even Miss Cleo, the fortune teller, could see six months of adolescent depression in my future unless something was done immediately.
After shopping one day, we miraculously stumbled inside of a McDonalds. The previous five hours had been mortifying and full of torture because my mother forced my sister and me to endure a painful shopping trip. Upon arriving at McDonalds, I was ready to escape the ball-and-chain of my stroller. Shopping had not been the only terrifying incident: the sky was dark, and a thunderstorm, my biggest fear at the time, was brewing. So at first, I was reluctant to enter because I found comfort at home, not in a random McDonalds in Florida.
Sizzling, greasy burgers were carelessly tossed onto the grill, while large amounts of golden, crispy fries were dumped into a steaming fryer. Other fryers were pulled out and covered with salt. The outside sign read “Over one million served,” and cars swarmed the parking lot. Opening the doors of the restaurant, the long line of anticipating customers leading to the counter astounded my young blue eyes.
The term fast food seemed an oxymoron. Standing there in the long line holding mother’s hand, I would try not to step on the cracks of the little white tile floor because I believed that they were made of lava; however, as reigning lava champion of my family, I turned my attention to the large black countertop and the humongous menu that loomed over my head. “Kids cheeseburger, Mom,” I would tell her. Sadly, my special order of no onions would likely go unheeded by the uncaring employees. To be honest, those pieces of saturated fat called cheeseburgers were decent at best. Yet, my mother was ensnared by the thought of fast, inexpensive food, so we went for as long as I can remember. The arch king of the world was our dining resting place, often several times a week, and I loved McDonalds because it was more than just a restaurant. It was a place of family bonding and fun.
While this was not my first McDonalds trip, it was more than likely the most memorable, because I stumbled on a hidden treasure, a plastic bag that contained my happy meal toy. A toy! The customers received little plastic toys in their happy meals. The mastermind behind this idea was indeed a genius. He deserved a medal or even a commemorative plaque. Either way, he had a special place in my heart; my toy dilemma had been resolved. Yet, a new dilemma arose. To obtain my newly acquired prize, I had to consume my entire happy meal. Unfortunately, patience was a virtue that I lacked. Chewing was soon forgotten, and, in my great haste, I swallowed big mouthfuls of fries and cheeseburger. Forcing salty fries and an onion-filled cheeseburger down my throat disgusted and embarrassed my mother. She watched in dismay; finally, she caved. My mother unleashed my new toy car from its plastic bag, and food became an after thought. Vrooooooooom Vroooooom.. I raced my car everywhere over counters, tables, chairs, and even my little sister’s head. Happily exiting the facility with my new toy in hand, I could not wait to return to the restaurant that provided me so much joy and I think my parents had discovered a solution to our perpetual boredom.
Realizing the great deal of pleasure our trip to McDonalds provided, my parents decided it would be the perfect place to keep me fed and to supply me with a small, relatively inexpensive form of entertainment. On our next visit, the lack of a catastrophic storm allowed me further investigation into this new place of wonder. By far, this was the biggest McDonalds I had ever seen—even to this day. My mom, not willing to deal with more car noises in the restaurant, ushered me outside to play in the undiscovered playground.
Walking out, I was blinded by the large jungle gym that lay before me and was overwhelmed with the amount of kids my age; I had walked into little kid heaven. Making sure to remove my power ranger shoes and to stash them safely into one of the fifty small cubby holes, I ran and plunged into the ball pit and buried myself completely. Containing more than twenty rambunctious kids, the ball pit was enormous. From the ball pit, a large pirate net extended upward into a system of inter-webbed tubes. Multi-colored with large windows on the side, the tubes allowed me to wave to my mom before descending down the spiraling blue slide. Eventually, I found a playmate and spent the afternoon playing with him in the playground or crashing our new happy meal cars. The McDonalds happy meal had evolved from a source of nourishment to a meeting place of hyper little kids. From the toy surprises to loads of fun at the playground, McDonalds transformed my Coral Springs stay from utter loneliness to exciting adventures with the ball pit of doom.
Now a poor college student, my friends and I often journey to McDonalds to explore the dollar menu. It presents me an opportunity to reminisce and to enjoy the social atmosphere that the greasy cheeseburgers, crispy fries, and inviting play place create. I now realize that fast food restaurants provide a more social environment that almost all other foods lack. It seems ironic that a big corporation trying to make money can become a place of family bonding. That’s really all McDonalds is; it offers time to squeeze in a quick meal and even an opportunity to socialize with your family.

Paper #6

Rock N' Roll Jesus

Kid Rock’s “Rock N Roll Jesus” tells the story of a “savior” that has returned to save everyone from the devil by converting their views on music to Rock and Roll. The speaker in this song tells of a man who has come to spread the good news about this music and preach the gospel on the revival of Rock and Roll. He attempts to play off of the audience’s emotions as well as their knowledge of his credibility as an artist. This song has a religious overtone to it that can be seen as both effective and ineffective. The speaker is attempting to use Jesus and a religious theme to sway peoples’ opinions on how they should feel about the song. By the speaker referring to himself as “Rock N Roll Jesus”, he attempts to gain credibility with the audience by making them think that his movement for Rock and Roll is as credible as Jesus’ movement to spread Christianity. Although Kid Rock’s “Rock N Roll Jesus” may offend some because of its religious overtones, the song successfully conveys its intended message and is thematically consistent throughout.

“Rock N Roll Jesus” paints a clear picture for its entire audience when telling the intended message of the song. This song refers to the speaker as “Rock and Roll Jesus”, a savior for the music genre of Rock and Roll; he is back to “save” everyone that he can and convert them to Rock and Roll fans. He tells of how he is here to enlighten everyone about the Rock and Roll revival that he has started and how if he cannot gain their allegiance in time, the devil will get them.

Sittin’ high on a mountain top holdin’ shop spreadin’ the good news
Been alotta false prophets and quick hits
And a lot of un-American bullshit
But the time has come to settle and the devil’s gonna make you choose.

These lines show the religious overtone that is present throughout the song. The first line in this quote shows the speaker’s belief that he above anyone else is capable of “spreadin’ the good news” of Rock and Roll. This line also plays into the religious theme as Moses first sat on a mountain and preached his Sermon on the Mount to his followers. The next two lines tell of the speaker’s disapproval of the previous attempts to revive the genre of Rock and Roll as he speaks of “false prophets and quick hits”, or artists that have come along feeling that their songs will turn around Rock and Roll for the better. The last line tells of the speaker’s belief that if he does not save his audience and convert them to the life of Rock and Roll, the devil will make them choose. His threat of “the devil’s gonna make you choose” is a play on Kid Rock as the devil and him scaring you into choosing between a life that eventually leads to heaven, or one that leads to hell. In this case, if the speaker cannot save you to Rock and Roll, the devil will send you to hell, or a place where the life of a Rock and Roller is not present. These four lines virtually speak for the entire song in that they show the message that this song attempts to convey; that “Rock N Roll Jesus” is back to revive Rock and Roll, spread the good news about this music, and convert people to the genre.

Kid Rocks straightforward, in-your-face approach to “converting” listeners to Rock and Roll is ineffective. The speaker’s targeted audience is not as likely to respond to this type of approach, especially when dealing with religion in such a straightforward manner. The artist almost loses some of the credibility that he has as a major recording artist when he attempts to attract listeners by forcing certain beliefs on them.

It’s all sex, drugs, rock n roll
A soul sensation that you can’t control
And you can see I practice what I preach
I’m your rock n roll Jesus

These four lines show the negatives of the approach that the artist takes in delivering his message. Once hearing these lines, every bit of credibility that the speaker had is nullified. He speaks of his use of sex and drugs and the popularity that these things have in the world of Rock and Roll. The third line shows that he uses the afore mentioned when he says, “I practice what I preach.” When he follows that line with “I’m your rock n roll Jesus”, he loses any bit of trust that the audience had instilled in him as an artist. While the two things mentioned previously are growing more and more common these days, especially among younger men and women, they are not condoned by most. The speaker’s acceptance of these two controversial subjects goes a long way to turning many listeners away from this genre of music. The speaker’s repetitive mention of being “Rock N Roll Jesus” along with his stated use of sex and drugs proves that his method of attracting listeners to the Rock and Roll genre is ineffective.

The speaker in this song constructs his argument and approach to getting his message across in a risky, straightforward style. He tells his audience exactly what he wants to them to hear and/or do and does not shift around his words to make his message sound less controversial. This approach plays on both the audience’s emotions as well as their trust in the credibility of the speaker. By relying on the religious theme of the song to gain him credibility, the speaker is playing on the audience’s emotions. He is hoping that by playing on a religious theme people will feel okay about joining a cause that supports sex and drugs and is not widely accepted.

The speaker’s argument and attempt at attracting listeners to the Rock and Roll genre of music is very much ineffective. His claim that he is the “Jesus” of Rock and Roll completely denies his attempt at drawing in a new audience. His head-on approach to bringing people to his side of music is gone about in a negative way, pushing most listeners farther away from the genre than when he began his argument. He does this by not only claiming to be “Jesus” but also by speaking of his use of sex and drugs and making it apparent to the listeners that those things come with being a fan of Rock and Roll. If not already a fan, I would be completely turned off from the Rock and Roll genre after hearing this song and the argument behind it. The speaker, while staying consistent in his approach to sway listeners to Rock and Roll, does a pitiful job attempting to change the view of his audience on this particular genre because of the examples he chooses to show of the life of a Rock and Roll fan.