Wednesday, December 12, 2007

How to Dress Up as a Common Farmer

Essay 5 Revised

Throughout history, Alabama has been the home to many farms. The state’s products rely on crops and food grown by these farms. From cotton fields to corn fields, farming is a known characteristic and trait of the state of Alabama. It is our state’s contribution to the nation’s crops. Farms are built on vast areas of land where homes are separated by miles. The city is a complete opposite environment with its high skyscrapers, business men, and crowded homes. The countryside is very open, not crowded, and contains no signs of skyscrapers. Farmers live in the countryside, so their experience with the city is very limited. They have little connection to trends in fashion, technology, or high amounts of civilization. A farmer’s attire is very different from that of a person living in the city. If someone were to dress up as a farmer, maybe for Halloween, they would need to learn the basic outfit pieces that would make a perfect common farmer. One should not expect it to be a high fashion style or expect it to be something worn for everyday use, because farmers like to keep it simple and dress to work in the fields. The following essay addresses a few pieces of clothing and items that are important in achieving the perfect look for a common farmer of the south.

One key piece of clothing would be a plain, denim set of overalls. The overalls should be equipped with two back pockets, two front pockets located on either side of the hip, and one larger pocket on the chest. These pockets are important to the farmers when dealing with supplies needed to deposit crops and other various plants into the earth. Farmers use the multiple pockets to store tools, seeds, and gloves for when they deal with dirt. All these items are necessary in planting the perfect crop. If one wants to include accessory pieces in their outfit, then they could carry a packet of seeds, a small shovel, and gardening gloves in each of the pockets. Overalls are denim, because denim is a fabric that is very durable. It is easily washed, yet it can withstand a beating from the dirt and heavy movement farmers perform.

A second key piece of clothing would be a red, plaid, long-sleeved, flannel shirt. The flannel shirt should be a button down in the front for easy removal. Farmers like the buttons, so they are able to remove their shirt just in case it gets too hot outside. A flannel shirt is thick, but it is necessary for the shirt to contain warmth for the initiation of planting. Planting usually begins in mid-February, early March. During this time of the year the weather is mild and slightly on the cold side, so farmers need a little extra warmth. Long-sleeves also add to the warmth, but in addition to that the sleeves they protect the farmer from the UV rays. It protects the skin from receiving sun burn. The red plaid characteristic of the shirt adds to the countryside theme, since most farmers live in the open areas of the country. It is not a very fashionable pattern, but this demonstrates the farmer’s lack of knowledge of the fashion world. The flannel shirt and overalls are the two key elements in achieving the perfect imitation of a farmer, so do not avoid these articles of clothing.

A third key piece of clothing would be footwear. Farmers wear the typical brown cowboy boots (no fancy designer boots are necessary to spice up the outfit, because common farmers like to keep it simple). The cowboy boots, though, are the perfect boot in protecting their feet. The boots protect their feet not only from getting dirty, but also from the dangers of the machinery. Tractors are the main machines used by farmers, and when using them the farmers have to be conscience of where their feet are to avoid injury. These cowboy boots are made of leather, so the durability and thickness of the boot help the farmers out in keeping their feet safe.

The accessory to make the perfect common farmer outfit would be a hat. Not just any old hat can be worn, though. It has to be a straw, large brimmed hat. Hats are worn by the farmers to shade their eyes and face. Hats allow the farmers to keep their hands free and provide the most protection from the sun. A hat is highly recommended for a male who is dressing up as a farmer, but if the dresser is a female there is a second option. Instead of wearing a hat, the female can braid her hair in two pigtails, and wear a bandana. The pigtails keep the hair out of her face, and her head protected from the sun.

Now that all the clothing has been addressed, next is getting into character. Farmers after a hard day’s work do not smell very nice, and to achieve this perfect body odor, one needs to rub onions in their underarms and carry and good handful of manure in their back pocket. Adding the body odor effect guarantees the failure in winning any dates, but it does guarantee winning the costume contest. If one wants to go for the hill-billy farmer look, one needs to paint nontoxic, black paint to one of their front teeth. This creates the illusion of a missing tooth; maybe a tooth lost during working out in the field.

Including all these articles of clothing and extra character building items achieves the common farmer outfit. There are more items that could be worn to make the outfit more advanced, so if one is interested in progressing to the next level of farming attire, there are some things to look into. For instance, one could carry a sack full of picked cotton to achieve the look of the past farming days, or one could carry around stuffed animals like a cow, chicken, or horse to achieve the storybook look of a farmer. If one is just looking to dress up as a common farmer then the overalls, flannel shirt, cowboy boots, straw hat, and manure achieve this look.

1 comment:

w. stein said...

I like the addition of the onions--and the manure makes sense now.