My BIG Fat Italian Meal-revised

When asked to write about one food that has had a strong impact on me, many ideas came to mind, but all of them had one thing in common. They were Italian foods. I wondered if I should write about gnocchi, wedding soup, spaghetti and meatballs, pasta fazool, ravioli, or another of the traditional Italian dishes my family loves to make. But because I could not choose one food, I decided to discuss a whole Perno Sunday night dinner.

Ever since I can remember, my huge crazy Italian family would pile into my grandmother’s house for dinner every Sunday night. The kids were sent outside to play house, freeze tag, baseball or to swim. We might be lucky enough to watch Home Alone or some other movie with our older cousins. With there being about thirty cousins, something exciting happened. I remember one night when my younger cousin fell into an ant pile, so my older cousin threw her in the pool. There was another time when one of my cousins got hit in the head with a baseball bat. Whatever we did, it was a happy time for getting to know our cousins, younger and older. All the women convened in the kitchen around appetizers of salami, prosciutto, cheeses, olives, and bread, chatting and finishing up any of the last minute details for the meal. The dads gathered in the living room to watch the weekly ballgame. When the time for dinner finally came, a mom rounded up the men and kids, and we would make a big circle around the kitchen to say the prayer, which was usually led by one of the kids. Then everyone went to their weekly seat; men and older women in the dining room, young kids and mothers with babies in the kitchen, and the rest of the children on the porch, at the bar, or wherever they could find an empty seat. If we moved too slowly, my grandmother worried that the food would get cold and make a huge scene. The meal often included salad, bread, spaghetti, meatballs, pork, chicken, and potatoes. On special occasions, we might have homemade ravioli, manicotti, or gnocchi, my personal favorite. We impatiently waited our turns as the different components of the meal were passed around the large table. I usually sat in the kitchen, and we got pretty silent as we devoured the best meal of our lives (or week). The kids listened to the conversation in the dining room, which might be an argument, but we just laughed. We knew that no matter how loud the disagreement became, when the meal was over, so was the argument. If we were at the table with Grandma, she told us about growing up in a large, poor Italian immigrant family. We heard about how her mother made all the spaghetti by hand-no pasta machines and definitely no store bought pasta! She described the way her mother made gnocchi by hand, first making the dough, then cutting and curling each individual piece of potato dough with her fingers or a fork. Grandma, who still made gnocchi at the time, would tell us about wedding soup and the work it took to clean the escarole, roll the veal meatballs, and cut the small sponge cubes. She remembered that it was a treat they could only afford a few times a year. Knowing that Grandma made those things for us made us feel special, even though she seemed to forget we had heard all of her stories before. Now I realize that hearing them over and over made me remember them. After dinner, all the women and teenage girls had to help clean the kitchen and dining room and wash the mountain of dishes. It was a treat when I was younger because we all dreaded the day we were old enough to help. Once everything was finally cleaned and put away, out came the dessert. Dessert might be anything, but it always included homemade biscotti or pizzelles. When it was time to leave, at least one kid seemed to be crying because they did not want the night to end. Even though we do not have Perno family Sunday night dinners regularly anymore, we still eat Italian food often.

Even though Grandma rarely cooks the big meals these days, my mom and aunts have started to make some of these dishes. To keep these family recipes in the family, one day my sister, my cousins, and I will learn how to cook these foods. Friends always talk about my family and how close we are. I think the way we have used Italian food during family meals as a way to share memories could have such an impact on families if they made the time for each other they way my family always has. The dishes we enjoy are more than just food, they represent memories, traditions, and life lessons I hope to pass along to my children one day.